We recently celebrated Gloria Chufflepuff’s very first birthday! To mark this major milestone, here is a list of 10 things that she has taught us.
2 The recycling bin is an endless source of amusement, with items to chew, mangle and throw about the house, particularly at night.
3 The optimum time to indulge in a spot of feline karaoke is at 4.45am.
4 We will never have a bath alone. Nor use the toilet in peace. Showers may be communal at the very last minute.
5 No bed is out of bounds. Even a bed behind a closed door. Human beds are far more comfortable than a soft, fleecy cat bed. Hell, even a concrete floor is more comfortable than a purpose-made cat bed.
6 You may dance in your water bowl, but you should never drink from it.
7 Shedding fur is a technical business. The rule: only leave white fur on a dark surface, and dark fur on a light surface.
8 A food bowl can never be too full.
9 It is impossible to play ‘hide and seek’ with a chicken; they squawk unexpectedly at the most inopportune of moments. Even games of ‘tag’ are somewhat one-sided. The best game to play with a chicken is ‘leapfrog’ – if you get it wrong, they provide a wonderfully soft landing.
10 A feather duster can be used for many things including chewing, biting, ambushing, pummelling, ninja warrior practice and carrying around the house using only your mouth. It should most certainly never be used for housework.