An Ode to the Bristol Stool Chart




 Who knew
that the humble poo
BSC Type 1would come in so many guises?BSC Type 7
Or that doctors and nursing
staff spent time conversing
on what each poo symbolises?

 There’s hard poo and runny poo
that’s graded 1 to 7,
with soft poo the consistency
of clotted cream from Devon.

BSC Type 2 The ideal poo is sausage-shaped.BSC Type 6
It’s long and smooth – don’t spoil it
with nobbly, bobbly, nutty bits
to pebbledash the toilet.

 Not only do you have to log
the date and time and ‘stool type’,
you also need to document
the colour down the soil pipe.

BSC Type 3 There’s also room for commentsBSC Type 5
should you wish to add a note
how satisfying your poo was
and whether it would float.

 But just one word of warning
as you poo with all your might…
if it emerges looking like a snake,
make sure it doesn’t bite!


BSC Type 4