Chief Staff Member for Gloria Chufflepuff, the chuffin cat, Head Poo Picker for the thick chickens, referee and chef for 3 fetid boys. Yes, that’s me – ring any bells?
It’s been a long time. Too long. This poor little blog has been neglected and filed away in a dark corner with only spiders and the odd errant mouse (Gloria’s latest house guest) for company. I think it’s time to bring it back – who agrees with me? (‘It’ being the blog, not the mouse, if you’re listening Gloria).
It’s been something of an enforced break, but more on that another time. For now, I’m sure you’re all desperate to hear the latest news.
Gloria is as rambunctious as ever. She has grown bigger and poofier, as has her attitude. Her headbutts can knock you into a neighbouring room, particularly with 14 pounds of force and sassiness behind them. She was out in the garden yesterday, now that the sun has finally made an appearance. As she patrolled across the lawn, tufty feet pounding the ground, tail wafting in the breeze, I noticed that her belly fur was actually touching the grass. Bearing in mind that I recently mowed the lawn, it made me realise that she’d been caught unawares – her summer body is a long way off (I know the feeling!). That’s what a prolonged winter does for you. Well, that and a voracious appetite for Dreamies treats…
The thick chickens, of course, moulted in the middle of winter, with snow heavy on the ground. As I ran around the coop trying to collect up the discarded feathers which were being buffeted by the hurricane-strength winds, I did wonder whether to sew them into mini jackets for the hens. I mean, obliging little souls that they are, I didn’t really want ready-plucked frozen chucks, even if it was Christmas-time.
The boys have also grown. In size and in noise. And in messiness. My cupboards are always bare as they manage to eat every single morsel they can find, however well-hidden it may be (even my Mint Choc Club biscuits from the secret compartment in the fridge – how very rude!) Have you ever seen a boy inhale a jaffa cake? I have. And don’t even get me started on the husband.
So I’m still here, and planning to do lots more writing. Which leads me to my main question: is there anybody left to read this?