Reasons Why I Can’t Sleep

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Need to sleep...

I used to be one of those annoying people who could drop off to sleep in an instant: any time, any place, anywhere… sometimes when people least expected it (apologies to anybody from my past who was left chattering away to my slumbering, dribbling form – my student years were, at times, a blur…)
This has all changed.
So much so that, whilst lying in bed desperately waiting for sleep to descend, I decided to make a list of all the things that had kept me awake over the course of 1 week.
Yes, believe it or not, these are all true!
The reasons why I can’t sleep:

1  The raucous laughter of an intoxicated duck;

2  The chuffin cat using my stomach as a springboard to practice her double back somersault with half twist (the twist being a claw up my left nostril);

3  Two owls trading insults either side of the bedroom window: “Whooo?” “Yooooo!” “Noooo!” “Yoooooo!” “Yooooo?” “Noooo!”

4  The sensation of desperately needing a wee but realising it’s simply too cold to get out of bed;

5  The same 2 lines of a song going through my head. Playing on repeat. And I can’t for the life of me remember any more of the song. Despite the fact that I was merrily singing along to the entire song just a few hours ago;

6  Mr and Mrs Fox having a very public domestic dispute;

7  The shadow on the window that resembles an axe murderer hiding behind the curtain;

8  The sound of the chuffin cat pouncing on her squeaky turkey at random intervals;

9  The fact that the weatherman has forecast “a chance of wintry precipitation” so I have to keep sneaking a peek through the curtains to see if it’s snowing yet;

10  The Police helicopter hovering 2 foot above my house (clearly looking for the axe murderer behind the curtain).

Yawn

7 thoughts on “Reasons Why I Can’t Sleep

  1. One of my cats uses my stomach as a springboard to leap up the curtains. Not that amusing at 3am. Love your list. I can relate to pretty much all of them, even the axe murderer. What is it with shadows?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha 🙂 yes, shadows are definitely the worst! I’m glad it’s only one of your cats who jumps on you in the night – imagine if they took it in turns! Maybe they’re working on that plan right now… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Glad my cat/s at various times curled on the bottom of the bed, or last one, slept beside ne, but tended to wke around four .a.m. Wanting cuddles, strokes etc. Wish it were them waking me up niw inatead of my bladder, several tines a night.
    Evelyn xxx

    Like

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