The life of a kitten is a busy one. There is always something new to learn, something dangerously exciting to discover. Not to mention the concentration involved in growing a fabulously fluffy undercarriage and tremendously tufty toes. Yes, it’s been a busy few weeks for Gloria Chufflepuff. Here are some highlights:

Kitchen floors are ridiculously good fun.
It is possible to power slide in circles on a wooden floor and, with a little practice, you can even avoid smashing head first into the kitchen bin.

Balloons are one of the best toys ever invented.
If you wallop them hard enough, they bounce all along the furniture. You can then hurtle off in hot pursuit, using your razor sharp claws as grappling hooks on the soft furnishings. Best of all, if you stick out your claws you can <pop> the balloon and then carry the soggy remains about in your mouth. Until your human staff member screams and wrestles it from your chops that is.

Feather dusters make splendid friends.
Even if they are bigger than you, it is still possible to transport them about the house by clamping one end in your mouth and dragging the rest along the floor between your legs. Beware the feather duster that fights back though. Whilst it seems like a soft target, it can deliver a swift kick back when you least expect it.

Train your human staff members.
If you want to play ‘fetch’ and there is no human around to oblige, you need to collect all the toys you can find and place them in a pile on your human’s favourite chair. The harder the toy, the better. You then need to knock over a cushion to keep the toys safe and hide them from view. The next time your human lowers themself to sit down in the chair, they will be delighted to discover your stash of carefully deposited items. So delighted in fact that they will throw each and every item all at once for you to retrieve.
Such training is vital and should be carried out on a regular basis. Humans are often slow to catch on.

Cat furniture is never robust enough
You were in no way responsible for this cat-astrophe…and now you have nowhere to sleep. The world is going to end. Until your human staff member retrieves a hammer and some extra heavy duty fittings that is.

Delight can be short-lived.
Remember your excitement on the day you realised your tail had grown long enough to reach your mouth?
Remember how you swished your tail proudly to and fro, and each time you caught it in your mouth you chuckled away to yourself?
Remember how good it felt to have something new to play with?
Hmmm.
Then remember how you got a little too carried away and enthusiastically chomped down on it as if it was a furry kebab. OUCH!